As Always.

It is lust.

It mean nothing.

He is a cheater.

He is a liar.

And I'm still stupid.

I agreed.

-A

3 Little Things.

As much as we want to get what we want, we cannot find it, if we are always looking.

-A

Because there is no way of life, to only look at the cover of a book than to actually read it.

-A

The way to see the light, you have to find a way to see through the darkness.

-A

Something About Him

Love is painted through so many things. Honesty, patience, care and friendship. The one thing I have and I want. All I want is an honest friendship. A friendship that shares, care and appreciate. There is nothing more than being a lover is as beautiful as being a friend. Maybe I'll find someone like you. Someone I can always call as friends firsts. And always be my friend first. 

 -A

Something I Wrote Yesterday.

Well I know that I'm not one of the famous bloggers or whatever but I still do write. More than I thought I would. Not here but in real life. I guess because I'm more of a writing kind of person but I know that if I try hard enough I know that one day I'll be noticed. But before that lets just enjoy my words. :)

The feeling of loneliness that consume every living breathing cell of me that can’t find a way to out of this misery.

 The feeling of nothingness that consume the way of living my life kills.

 Why do some of us so fortune to find the secret life of happiness. 

Why does some of us are left with nothing. 

Sometimes I wondered of my fate was death. 

Not a person but the end of life.

 I lie awake at night thinking of am I fit to see my maker.

 My origin. 

The one who made me. 

Put me to earth and decided that my fate was with death.

 All the happiness that came with life I did not get. 

I get the material things that the world offers but not the ones can’t be bought by money.

 How will I meet my maker feeling so confused. 

How can I have an angry feelings towards him?

 No matter what, I cannot be angry with him. 

Because he is my one true home.

 The place I shall one day return to. 

The definite place I shall go. 

To whether burn or go to the eternal life in bliss. 

So, where is my prince charming?

 The one that dressed in white or the horrid black?

-A

Vanished

As he looked away,
For the last time that she would stay,
All for him was it was all resolved,
All for  her it would  all ended,

Could it be that they  couldnt see,
They were made for each other,
How  could they see it,
For both were blind,

The story never seem to see the light,
Till there is no more left to fight,
For some  the story ends  with light,
But for some  it always ends with fight,


But, he kissed  me with his eyes closed,
Fingers in my hair,
Mouth wide open,
Oh, his love, his love, his love.


-A

Influence.

SHIT. ITS THE SAME THING ALL OVER AGAIN.

Somewhere in the long run

There is someone I know,

That I know using me,

Of how he knows who I am,

Who I want to be,

How I am smart,

Intellegent,

Not all beautiful,

Witty,

But he thinks he has all the ropes,

To tie me down,

To control me,

How I know,

He's a devil,

With a face of an angel,

How he knows what to say,

What to do,

To  keep me on the edge,

Maybe what I'm doing is evil,

As evil as he is,

And maybe I'm digging my own grave,

And one day I may fall at my own trap,

But at least I want to try,

To be who  he needs to be,

Who he wants me to be,

I know,

One day,

I look for my phone,

Hoping that he calls,

Hoping that he text,

And wishing that one day,

He'll say

'I love you'

Just maybe,

Somewhere  in the long run,

And  maybe,

Never.

-A

You  can always hope and wish for the happy ending.

 But I know I won't find it in his world.

Maybe you'll see this one day mirul.

But I doubt it would go this far. 

And if it didn't but you see this. 

Yeah, I was that far in.

Searching For The Only One

In the middle of doing work,

In the middle of what I should be focusing on,

Something important happening tomorrow,

I want to release this,

This feeling

That's so dangerous,

So fragile,

So small,

Or way to big,

For me,

How can I know?

How could I find,

A way to know,

That this feeling is real,

That what's happening is valued,

High enough for him,

How could I know,

That he's sincere,

To know who I am,

To be with me through it all,

And how much of myself do I give to him,

How much do I keep?

How much affection should I share,

Because that's all I want to do,

To share my love,

My feelings,

My soul,

The beat of my heart,

To be shared,

To be divided,

Into half's,

To give it away,

For free,

Without any charge,

Without any regrets,

Will he be the one to change,

The meaning to all those songs,

To all those memories,

To be the firsts,

And maybe be the lasts,

Or to be the heartbreaker,

Or the heartbroken,

To hold the one I saved for last,

To be my light,

To brighten those dark times,

To show me how to be,

Who I want,

Who I choose to be,

To love as much as we hate,

To show me something I've been waiting for.
To make me believe,
I've found the only one.

-A


You cant copy what I write. These are always will be my words.

SEE IT

If There Was...

If there was someone I love,

I'll love him unconditionally,

I'll love him more than I love myself,

Because that is how I was taught to love,

How I want to love,

How  I wanted to be loved,

I'll give him all the acceptance I have,

All the patience I have,

All  the innocence I have,

All the responsibility I have,

All the strength I have,

But before he can have all of who I am,

He must know, accept and do the same,

Because how can I love or even learn to love someone,

Who cant do the same,

Because for me love wont work unless,

We learn to love unconditionally,

Love to accept their flaws,

Work on the relationship,

Work on the person,

Who we  say we love,

If we love someone,

We don't give up on them,

Or  deceive them,

Or abandon them,

Because I learn that you should never do,

Something that you don't want to happen to yourself,

But if I have someone to love,

I'll do all this,

And I'll never look back.

Wishing upon a star so bright, the sun is jealous.

-A

Waiting to be found.

Hello  yellow, 

As you guys do not  know,

I currently just started  my degree,

In business administration,

Where, you might ask?

Is a secret.

As the years has passed,

I've changed,

Yet again,

But of course, 

I found a place I can release,

All my bottled up emotions,

As feelings are not rare,

But emotions are raw,

I know I dont have much fans,

Probably none, 

But at least if youre looking,

You will always find me,

Here,

As always,

Waiting to be found.

-A

Currently for me, love does not  exist.

Here We Go Again.

Hello dear one,
We  met again,
From the last time saw you,
I missed  you so dearly,
Oh, little one,
But how  you are not something I could touch,
Nor feel,
But you are my release,
For  all my emotions,
So it could be bottled up,
And flow,
Into the ocean that we called,
The internet.



-A