End of the year.

Hello loves,

To be honest this may be the only thing that I have always come back to for the past 7 years. Yes, this blog. well, for instance, I'm not that famous but I write what I want. always. And just a quick update, I'm finishing my internship and my degree. Yes, it has been a while. Just so you know that guy that I write poems for a few months back? Yeah,  I left him. He was the most toxic person that have ever had touched my life. Even as he was the angel in my life. He was worse when he became a devil. So yeah, it wasnt easy but I got through it. as always.


-A

Today Is Another Day Of Yours.

 You,
Someone I  know,
Today is just another day for lots of people,
But I know its not to me,
It reminded of someone I love,
Love way to deeply,
But who am I to  say this  is love,
Not me,
I've never love or been loved by someone,
Like this,
How time has changed us,
These times has  change but I know you're all I wait for,
This is just another day of those feelings coming back,
Those nostalgic days that I will feel How I was with you in my life,
And how I am not,
All the other days are good,
Most probably most will be the best days of my life,
But knowing you have taught me too much,
More than I can bare,
And that is life,

We get what we need and not what we want.


-A

Normal

You make me want to dive,

Dive in your world that you're so much afraid of showing,

Where who you are is so real,

Maybe I'm just over my head,

But you won't let me have a taste, 

You shut me out like a hurricane, 

When I thought I had lose,

You rain my garden awake,

And that is all you,

All the time that I see you.

-A

Grandparents.

What are grandparents? The parents of your parents? The biological parents of mom and dad? Is that it? well, I want to talk about Puan. my grandma. She isn't just any grandma. She's the grandma you want your husband to meet. The grandma you want your children to meet. maybe taking this to a blog seems a bit extreme to some or most of you but I do love that woman. My whole heart loves her. genuinely feel like I still need her. So many things I want to do with her. Maybe when I was smaller I don't know what to do with her but when you're all grown up you will wish for one more hour, one more day, one more conversation and one more advice. Because when they die, you know it's forever or it will be a long time before  you join them. Maybe some or most of you do not prefer to spend time with your grandparents, but it would be the time you'll appreciate the little things in life. Maybe you don't share the same hobbies, the same needs and wants but these are going to be the time you will keep and remember forever. because maybe right now it's all about your life and your boyfriend, your friends and your career but before you know it, you will lose them and when you do, your heart and mind would notice how much they have and always been the source of your strength and will. How they have touched your life so gently but leave the biggest mark. The deepest cut. The most prominent scar. Some say that when someone is not in your current lifestyle and present, they aren't as important than the ones who are, they don't know the meaning of unconditional love. A kind of love that do not need to be present in the physical form. unconditional love exist in all of us. We will learn it when you lose someone you didn't know you've love unconditionally. And most of the time it is your grandparents. Because you know they love you no matter what. Because even when they can't do anything to stop you, they still would love you. And that is something a lot of people lose today. She and my tok mat and both of my embahs, I love them because they have made such great parents and they are great grandparents. And I know that with god's will I am on the right track. And I hope I make all of them proud and to always watch over me.


And for that, I am grateful and I am blessed. Alhamdulillah

-A

How Do You Know It's Real?

How do you know if it's real,
Or it is just apart of your fantasy?
Or it is just your mind playing with you,
Or it is something that god sent  for you?

You know it when you realize you have the same feeling that you had 6 months ago,
You know it when you realized that their arms that you yearn every time something happens,
You know it by the longing to hear their voice after 1 month not talking to each other,
You know it by the honesty in all you say to them and for them.

That's when you know,
That all your life where there was so much questions,
That the answer was right there in front of you,
And that answer will always be the one that breaks you.

-A